Ayahuasca

Wed 5-3-06, 7:30am...wake up. still alive. Need to wake up, was told last night by Omer, the property Manager, 25 years old, to splash water in my face as soon as I woke up. No, I need a cold shower. Must wake up...get out of bed. Wash my body...NO, not MY body, the body I am using to experience LIFE.

Last night 8pm Omer and Don Jose showed up, went to the small cottage/hut, near the main Hut. Dark. Noises everywhere. Sitting across from Elizabeth. Don Jose first whispers into his hands, blows tobacco smoke over the

Ayahuasca

, chants softly, a whisper. I have the first taste, shot glass size, brown thick but runny, chocolate, with fingernail polish remover taste. Melting into my stomach. gargling. We wait.

Time passes as I begin to feel the first changes. Constant buzzing, millions of insects sing their songs. Don Jose coughs and coughs, smokes hand rolled cigarettes that smells thick, fresh, like a fine cigar. Lights a pipe, blows smoke. Asks me and Elizabeth if we want more.....no, not ready yet.

1 Hour. The Icaros(native songs) begin. Such beautiful sounds. Connecting with each low, embracing each high note, holding onto the sounds with my attention. Buzzing Chirping dogs talking over great distances in the background, fireflies, a candle burns and I can just make out the Wise and weathered 75 year old face of the shaman, his gifts taken many times before. When I close my eyes, I begin to see patterns designs, all moving and changing, a light show, a never ending geometric display of creation….. the building blocks of life. Such beautiful songs....sounds...everywhere. Do I feel sick. No. But I might need to use the bathroom. Difficult to tune into my body's needs. There are no visions yet, still at the entry-level in the change of consciousness.

"Don Jose, I’ll have one more cup of Ayahuasca"...and some tobacco, I want to connect with the experience, relax, let life flow. Let go. 2 Hours, I feel I need the bathroom, but maybe not. Maybe I can hold it. The sounds of Omer's voice dancing in the calm night air with Don Jose's voice, echoing through every cell of my body. The Body I am using. The most beautiful feeling of seeing the most beautiful feeling. Laying on the floor now. Body is heavy. A pile of bones. Churning intestines, stomach is empty, cramps. "Neccisito El Baño" (I need the bathroom), I tell Omer. "I can make it to the bathroom on my own I think". Flash light in hand...I venture out into the jungle everything vibrating, glowing, moving, alive, energy flowing. Am I Lost?...what If I cant find the toilet..wandering jungle paths all night. I hear voices in the distance. Found toilet. Sit and relax, give to the millions of moving creatures at the bottom of the outhouse. I still don't feel sick, just need to drain liquid, Ayahuasca moving through my fasted body effortlessly.

Now, can I find the damn hut again? Somehow moving past branches, vines, stepping barefoot on moist leaves, muddy pathway crunching, branches... Bats flying by my head...I think. I see the Light, the glow of the hut, Lit softly by the night sky in the jungle clearing. Made it back through the buzzing moving living beating churning Jungle. Sitting again. Don Jose, smoking, on my right. Omer, talking in Spanish, on my left. Elizabeth, lying on the floor across from me.

3 Hours. Still seeing patterns, designs, glowing center within my minds eye. Third Eye. Thought from time to time of beautiful perfect nature.... and mankind's disrespect and destruction of it. Omer says he needs to go to his grandmothers house...his grandfather has died and left his land to him. He needs to sign the title for the property. Don Jose asks if I am seeing visions. Everything has changed but I don't see any real big visions. I don't want more Ayahuasca now. This is enough. Intense. Laughing, seeing my sweet girlfriend Irma's face. she smiles. We meet in a place that feels as real as this reality. What is real? I feel time bending... sounds twisting.

Sweet sounds of Don Jose's voice flowing through the air, becoming one with every cell, every molecule. If everyone experienced this, there would be no war. There would be no destruction. Tobacco smoke hangs in the hut around me...glowing cigarette moves like a solo dance in the darkness. With each inhale, I see Don Jose's shadowy face, lit softly for a moment, warm glow. Soon the ceremony is over. We get up, drunk walking and stumble through the forest...I am still very different but I guess I can go to my room....sleep? Yea right. Sweaty in my room. Bugs in my bed, mosquitoes in my room. A roach scampers past my feet. Try to sleep. 3am. Need to use the bathroom......