tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15531407725097292002011-11-27T15:53:29.047-08:00Into the heart of the Amazon in search of TruthOn 4-20-06 I sold everything I owned and flew to the Amazon jungle on a journey of self discovery. I lived 1 year with a native Shipibo community in a village called San Francisco. While in the Amazon I worked intensively with a shamanic tea called Ayahuasca, which opened my eyes to a whole new way of seeing the world. Here you will find journal entries taken directly from my recently published memoir titled, "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth"Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.comBlogger781100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-44100930706183126942010-04-05T09:10:00.000-07:002010-04-05T13:08:53.402-07:00Preface(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
My parents gave me a journal when I was 7 years old and encouraged me to write in it. I recorded my thoughts, dreams, day to day experiences, and drew pictures. I was honest and open in my journal because I knew nobody would read it except for me. But, at the age of 9, my dad found my journal while making my bed, and decided to Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-80220074028270865292010-04-05T09:01:00.000-07:002010-04-05T13:54:13.234-07:00Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
Introduction
As a child, I looked out at the world with so much curiosity. When I fell asleep at night, I would think about God and try to understand where I came from. As much as I thought about the origins of life, I could never seem to figure it out. Where did all of this begin? If there was a God, then who created God? AllJoel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-40760848537814898112007-03-08T12:10:00.000-08:002010-04-05T13:26:15.852-07:00Iquitos and Pacaya Samiria Amazon Reserve: March 8, 2007
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mso-generic-font-family:roman;Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-28692742583749539192007-01-30T12:06:00.000-08:002010-04-05T13:54:46.268-07:00Shipibos and Me: January 30, 2007
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mso-generic-font-family:roman;Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-32610543533020737822007-01-17T12:05:00.000-08:002010-04-05T13:52:48.110-07:00Giving Thanks: January 17, 2007(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
I am forever grateful to the Shipibo community of San Francisco, for providing a place where I could transform my life and myself. With the aid of ayahuasca, and through seeking for answers, I have come to understand many of my self-sabotaging, and self-limiting ideas and beliefs. I have come to a different understanding about Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-38560488401902375252007-01-09T12:03:00.000-08:002010-04-05T14:17:47.700-07:00Happy New Year! January 9, 2007
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mso-generic-font-family:roman;Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-72615577649098863682007-01-03T12:01:00.000-08:002010-04-05T12:03:06.831-07:00We are Always Love: January 3, 2007(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
The Mind TwisterWe exist because of LOVEWe were created by LOVEWE ARE LOVEEven if we hate ourselves,It is because we LOVE to hate ourselves, That we are still LOVE.If we didn’t love to hate ourselves, we wouldn’t be doing it...would we?WE DO WHAT WE LOVE DOING,EVEN IF IT HURTS US SOMETIMES.---------------------------------------Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-61823536342781956502006-12-28T12:00:00.000-08:002010-04-05T12:01:37.784-07:00One World Mind: December 28, 2006
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mso-generic-font-family:roman;Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-76683694813123291422006-12-23T11:58:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:59:50.628-07:00Day Before Christmas: December 23, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
I can remember last year at Christmas time. It is a frantic and stressful time of year for many Americans. Last minute deals at big-box retailers, endless lines at cash registers, stop and go traffic. Parents desperately seeking that one special gift that will fill their child with love. But love is not within our newly Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-481047570847981082006-12-18T11:55:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:57:30.871-07:00Love and Separation: December 18, 2006
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mso-generic-font-family:roman;Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-27615580122434049632006-12-12T11:53:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:55:48.605-07:00Sitting and Thinking: December 12, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
San Francisco, Peru. I AM awake.Attention is on my typing.Now it is on my thoughts.Now, my attention is in my memory,Remembering a moment from the past.
Now, my attention is outside,Listening to the sounds of amazon jungle night life.Where my attention is at,Is where my awareness is at.
The Human Species is special,Because we Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-38277829982034107832006-12-10T11:52:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:53:35.674-07:00Children Are Our Future: December 10, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
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panose-1:2 2 4Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-45739881884804642872006-11-29T11:50:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:51:56.321-07:00Enlightenment: November 29, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
Okay- “Enlightenment” --What is it?
Using the mind, body, and heart to experience a truthful and balanced life.
Enlightenment is living in the present moment.
It is the process of “Being.”
Living with the Knowing that All is One.
Living in Love with life and sharing this with others.
It is a constant meditation - being of true Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-8337156714594826922006-11-28T11:47:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:49:46.696-07:00Separation Hurts: November 28, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
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panose-1:2 2 4Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-91336966947395804992006-11-25T10:53:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:38:29.670-07:00DejaVu: November 25, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
The amount of neglect I have for my body -my temple-Is the exact amount of neglect I have for my Spirit.-----------------
“We Are God”What does this mean?God has managed to create the perfect world,Where, God could experience all that God has dreamed.Through the eyes of humanity.
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CREATIONIt Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-67395542676009937892006-11-24T10:50:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:38:56.725-07:00Thinking Freely: November 24, 2006
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mso-generic-font-family:roman;Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-29703502046108648052006-11-22T10:49:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:39:26.911-07:00Free Thinking: November 22, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
Deeper Awareness. Stepping into the light of our Truth. Without awareness, I am not aware of the importance of clear understandings; I am not seeking and questioning. It is through the limitless possibilities that awareness brings, that we are able to exist within an experience of Life. This is why awareness is so important. HowJoel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-37931852613926099042006-11-15T10:46:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:40:44.312-07:00What is This Life? November 15, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
The rains have begun here in the jungle. What a sight to see the powerful raw force of nature in action; seeing all of the rivers fill up more and more, the lakes swell and overflow, streams that once were dry now flowing with life. In the beginning I was a little afraid of winter here. I had just left Portland, Oregon and I Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-55654115734505701082006-11-04T10:45:00.000-08:002010-04-05T11:41:20.237-07:00Poem, The Beginning: November 4, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
The Beginning
In the beginning there was breath.And with this breath came life.And with life, came the human experience.Into human form we have been birthed.A sacred promise was made- That we would respect All Life.
For, with free-will-There exists only One rule:The Golden Rule.Do unto others,As you would have them do unto youJoel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-87792705161914899572006-10-26T10:44:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:41:33.629-07:00Observable Reality: October 26, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
There is only one path that leads to God. All others lead away from God. The seeking of a deeper understanding of love, wisdom, and peace leads one to God. I have been seeking, praying for, and desiring to know love and wisdom for the past seven years. Time after time, experiences have entered my life which have showed me whatJoel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-47120962092159613822006-10-23T10:42:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:42:42.366-07:00List of Desires: October 23, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
I wrote my first list of desires a few years ago while living with Anne in Portland, Oregon. We soon realized that our desires began to enter our lives –as if by some magical force. Now whenever I have desires, I write them down on paper. It helps to visualize each desire; to get clear and specific. Since all of my desires to Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-21384199464711261432006-10-18T10:26:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:42:54.031-07:00Lessons Learned: October 18, 2006 8:30pm(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
I just lit a small piece of Palo Santo, a type of wood that is burned as incense which is used for healing and to clear negative energy during an ayahuasca ceremony. Two kittens, one grey and one orange, are running around my room causing all forms of havoc. A candle is lit in the center of the room, where I have a small Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-40152949064951331362006-10-04T10:24:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:43:04.646-07:00Ayahuasca: Drug or Medicine? October 4, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
The past few weeks have been relatively tranquil. I would like to get more relaxation time in, but there is always work to be done on the farm...and I now have 3 dogs, 1 cat, and 2 parrots....and the tortoise that I had purchased from a Shipibo man last week just escaped!
I have planted seeds for mandarins, oranges, Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-45519310085009326302006-09-23T10:16:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:43:18.001-07:00Death and Rebirth: September 23, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
I had an expectation that the ceremony would be the same as the previous night -a very clear, high, elevated space -however, the ceremony was very different. It took a while for my vision and feelings to change. My energy was very-very low when things did finally start to change. The change is a change in perspective. It is Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-80067092461379991702006-09-22T10:15:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:43:35.404-07:00Creation and Perfection: September 22, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
The ceremony last night was a very powerful experience. I saw the wisdom and perfection of everything that is created. Creation is perfection. There is no judgment except within the minds of humanity. With this understanding, fear no longer holds my power. As I stand in perfection, knowing that I can do no “wrong,” I am free Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-57298269966154250132006-09-21T10:14:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:43:59.466-07:00Enlightenment? September 21, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
Ali has been working for the past month on setting up a six week ayahuasca retreat; three ceremonies per week for six weeks. The first group has gathered from three countries: England, Denmark, and California. They saw Ali’s information on the internet and felt inspired to come here for the retreat. And it looks like more are Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-29405439858807408142006-09-13T10:13:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:44:20.262-07:00Reality and Life: September 13, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
So what is this life we are all experiencing? There are endless levels from which to answer this question. Everyone will have their own perspective, but I keep finding that there are some really important elements that we all have in common. And, it is these same elements which are lacking in our society most: Truth, Love, Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-7005936372800065782006-08-26T10:12:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:44:45.561-07:00Twenty Nine Years Old: August 26, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
I have been in my new thatch roof casita/house for one week. I am living down the road from San Francisco; about a 15 minute walk. I haven’t felt to write in my journal lately, in part because I have been busy getting all of the land documents completed, and working on the house and land.
Wow, a lot has happened in the last Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-64772520828699056392006-08-12T10:12:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:45:03.224-07:00San Francisco and Beyond: August 12, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
Life has been a little busier and more like work than anything else the past several weeks. With the house construction, and going to and from Pucallpa with loads of materials, it has been a month of work which I know will pay off shortly. Marcin and I asked around San Francisco to find someone who builds traditional style Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-17324511293471707082006-07-09T10:11:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:45:16.234-07:00Our Creative Power: July 9, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
I just came back to San Francisco from Pucallpa in a collectivo with Manuel’s wife, Carmen and her sister Maria. They have just returned from the city of Iquitos in the Northern Amazon region of Peru. Each year, they ride a large river boat (Lancha) down river for three days to sell their hand crafts in Iquitos. They were Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-18401578831315170242006-06-26T10:10:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:45:28.060-07:00Jungle Diarrhea: June 26, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
I am sitting in a friend’s home here in San Francisco. I am in the process of healing my body which has been very sick for the past week. I have had diarrhea for six days and have felt really weak at times. I was drinking water out of the river at San Pablo de Senewya, and I was okay for about seven days. Then, on the day we Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-28487615772163917402006-06-21T10:09:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:45:38.920-07:00Back from the Jungle: June 21, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
I have been so busy going places...going places within myself, and visiting places around Pucallpa. I would like to take a moment to clarify my intentions. My journey with ayahuasca is not a search for another high...not a search for something like what Americans would call a drug. I am not searching for something outside of Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-12755689834335727252006-06-18T10:08:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:45:58.563-07:00World Of Energy: June 18, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
San Pablo De Senewya, Freddy’s casita - 7:00 am. Large pigs snorting and coughing; roaming freely around the house and in the kitchen area. Ducks looking for their morning portion of rice and boiled yucca. Woke up cold, with an ear ache. Next time I come here, or go into the jungle, I will be better prepared. Larger blankets, Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-78433709597574125782006-06-17T10:07:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:46:14.272-07:00Day of Rest: June 17, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
Cooked another four liters of ayahuasca. I felt the need to clean my body out so I fasted all day and only drank water. The ceremony Friday night was the strongest yet. So powerful here in the jungle; such pure vibrant energy. We gathered for ceremony under a small shelter located a few hundred meters from Freddy’s house, Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-63354146050012002492006-06-16T10:06:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:46:26.056-07:00Time IS the Dream: June 16, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
I am sitting in a hammock under a thatched roof shelter, across from two large boiling aluminum pots of ayahuasca. I am spending two weeks in the jungle with Guillermo and Bartolo, Shipibos from San Francisco, and their brother Freddy’s family (sons of the San Francisco shaman, Don Jesus).
My life is being transformed so Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-2843008072537489452006-06-08T10:06:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:46:37.679-07:00A Dose of Reality: June 8, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
We have just returned to San Francisco after three days in the jungle. Chachibai is not a village of non-contacted people. They all have seen foreigners before. Chachibai is a two year old settlement located ten hours downriver from San Francisco, a two hour hike through jungle, and a one hour canoe ride through a narrow Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-5024735007926692482006-06-05T10:00:00.000-07:002010-04-05T11:46:56.586-07:00Into the Jungle: June 5, 2006(from: "Journal: Into the heart of the Amazon in search of Truth" )
Partly cloudy – crystalline blue sky like I have never seen. Driving up-river in a small narrow wooden boat, powered by a loud gasoline engine toward a community of indigenous people. We are about to pass a pueblo called Callaria, a small pueblo about five hours down river from San Francisco. A few days ago, we met Manuel’s Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-71405096649767756642006-06-01T09:59:00.000-07:002010-04-05T10:22:12.134-07:00San Francisco Land: June 1, 2006Marcin and I have purchased a small piece of land, and plan to build a house (jungle hut) pretty soon. Many people offered us space next to their homes, on their land, to build a house. We quickly realized that we needed our own land so we wouldn’t be dependant on others, or lose the relationship with the family, land owner, and then lose the house we built.
While exploring the village and Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-21920343399744794592006-05-23T09:58:00.000-07:002010-04-05T10:22:23.886-07:00Changes: May 23, 2006Sitting across from two Shipibo women, who are sewing the last details on some clothes we purchased, and a dwindling wood fire that breakfast was made over. A breakfast of rice, potatoes, and chicken, all boiled together in an old, disfigured, aluminum pot. There is a scroungy looking black dog, missing chunks of hair, fleas, wandering, looking for scraps of food. He chases chickens, barks at a Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-50019878502555690852006-05-22T09:57:00.000-07:002010-04-05T10:22:37.913-07:00San Francisco, Yarinacocha, Yarina, Peru: May 22, 2006I have been in San Francisco with Marcin for the past few days, and it has been the most spiritually potent place I have ever felt, or been to. Our first day: Took moto-taxi from Pucallpa but our ride ran out of gas half-way to the village. Walked down a dark mosquito infested dusty road, carrying 50 lbs each in our backpacks, for about five miles. We would stop about every 10 minutes to rest, Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-53013184329169270942006-05-18T09:57:00.000-07:002010-04-05T10:22:56.116-07:00Ceremony in Yarinacocha: May 18, 2006Last night Marcin and I met up with the shaman (medico) from Yarinacocha, with whom we had previously arranged an ayahuasca ceremony. We drove to his hut with his wife via moto-taxi, about a 10 minute ride from Pucallpa. We arrived in a village with humble thatched roof huts, and wooden plank floors suspended four feet from the swampy ground on wooden stilts. Quiet area compared to Pucallpa, but Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-34356751173854995392006-05-17T09:56:00.000-07:002010-04-05T10:23:05.055-07:00The Kingdom Of Heaven: May 17, 2006Last night will be known as the night I was attacked by the giant moth, and then later, a big mouse came into the room to hang out and listen to the ambient music we were playing. We made some tea, then stayed up until 12am, talking, laughing, getting attacked by a giant moth…the biggest I have ever seen. It flew all around me then flew frantically around my face for a while….I didn’t know what Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-81629274607129107022006-05-16T09:55:00.000-07:002010-04-05T10:23:16.790-07:00A New Best Friend: May 16, 2006Wow. Just woke up…well, I have been awake off and on for a few hours. Just got out of bed. Last night I decided to tell myself, as I was going to sleep, to remember my dreams. I placed a notebook and pen on the floor next to the bed. Last night I had a dream of a woman wearing a long robe, with long straight black hair, about 35 years old, holding a large metal tablet with symbols on it. There Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-79175400276059062006-05-13T09:54:00.001-07:002010-04-05T10:23:42.283-07:00Two Weeks in Peru: May 13, 2006I guess it has been about two weeks since I’ve been here in Pucallpa. The weather has been mild, mostly cloudy...but when the sun is out it gets very hot. I guess I am getting used to the heat. I have been waiting for the past few days to visit the other lodges that Carlo is building deeper in the jungle, farther away from civilization. Well, I finally got a chance, and half-way through the ride,Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-17370046157993321552006-05-13T09:54:00.000-07:002010-04-05T10:23:57.633-07:00I Desire: May 13, 2006I desire a constant awareness of the spirit within each living person, and each living thing. When I walk down the road, I want to see the little piece of God that is inside of everyone. Not just another person with an attitude, problem, a weird look, or a personality. Because the truth is, I don’t know what most people have been through in their lives. I base all of my first thoughts about a Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-8658981811646121132006-05-09T09:53:00.001-07:002010-04-05T10:24:09.127-07:00Alone at Last: May 9, 2006Waiting in my room at Carlo’s lodge for Margot to pack her things and meet me here so we can go into town. Today she is leaving for a journey into the Amazon to the city of Iquitos by riverboat. Meeting her in Lima worked out perfectly. She came with me on my journey to Pucallpa, and on the way, we both learned a lot from each other. She reminded me a lot of what I already knew…like nothing in Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-83608666470610429242006-05-09T09:53:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:54:19.482-07:00Alone at Last: May 9, 2006Waiting in my room at Carlo’s lodge for Margot to pack her things and meet me here so we can go into town. Today she is leaving for a journey into the Amazon to the city of Iquitos by riverboat. Meeting her in Lima worked out perfectly. She came with me on my journey to Pucallpa, and on the way, we both learned a lot from each other. She reminded me a lot of what I already knew…like nothing in Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-37193738428834139642006-05-08T09:53:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:53:37.677-07:00Actions and Reactions: May 8, 2006Just finished hand-washing my clothes and hung them out to dry in the breezy air. I need to shower and clip my finger and toe nails. I have let some things go, like clipping my nails, and shaving, because I have other priorities at the moment…Thinking, always thinking about life.
We have some little brown and black monkeys that swing by in the trees at night. Also, many colorful birds, some Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-12993002070958439572006-05-03T09:52:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:53:01.679-07:00Entering Ayahuasca: May 3, 2006This journal entry was written first-thing in the morning, after my first experience with ayahuasca in Pucallpa, Peru. Instead of trying to remember and record all of the details of the experience, I decided to begin writing freely as different thoughts passed through my mind.
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Wednesday, 7:30am...Wake up. Still alive. Need to wake up. Was told last night by Pedro, Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-2740731135479439852006-05-02T09:51:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:52:24.289-07:00Together, We Are All God: May 2, 2006Cool breeze blowing through the vine-strangled trees, cooling down the blazing hot sun in the cloudless sky. I just spoke with Pedro, who is the 25yr old “Property Manager” – watches the place and cleans up the area – employed by Alex and Carlo. Pedro also speaks good English and takes classes with Carlo at his art school. He said he wanted to collect the 100 soles (aprox. $33 USD) from each of Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-77868843741902998572006-05-01T09:51:00.001-07:002010-04-05T09:51:40.806-07:00Insect Bite: May 1, 2006Woke up and went for a jog around 8am. As I jogged down the long wooden path through the jungle swamp, something bit me very hard on my upper back. Ouch! I still don’t know what it was but I’m still alive. Needless to say, the jog didn’t happen -my back was experiencing too much pain. From what I can gather, it was a large insect. I feel like I don’t belong in this environment, and the Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-9233409035646680972006-04-30T09:50:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:51:04.548-07:00The Big Questions: April 30, 2006Okay, this may sound a little dumb. I have been in Peru for 10 days now, and there are questions that I would like answers to. They are the same questions humankind has been asking for centuries. Who am I? Where did I come from? What am I doing here? These are questions that I have…but where do these questions originate- from my brain, or from a place beyond my brain?
I am sitting here in my Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-75384575584845558932006-04-28T09:50:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:50:30.679-07:00Afternoon Chai Tea: April 28, 2006Woke up at 8am, wandered around barefoot, took pictures of the plants and insects. I am now sitting in a hammock in the shade of a thatch hut; sipping a cup of chai tea that Margot prepared: Caramelized sugar, water, ginger, anise and cardamom. The sun is scorching hot. Insects and birds constantly calling. In the distance I hear chickens crow, a dog barking, and the bass from a speaker playing Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-45699059344591344972006-04-27T09:48:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:49:14.701-07:00This is No Vacation: April 27, 2006Margot and I wanted to drive during the coolest part of the day, so we decided to get a collectivo from Tingo Maria to Pucallpa, a 7 hour ride by car, or 11 hour ride by bus. We woke up at 3:30 am to catch the collectivo ride at 4 am which was ready and waiting for us, ON TIME!! And we were off into the darkness of the thin morning air.
With no street lights on the dark mountain roads, we Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-60553762553835183822006-04-25T09:47:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:48:27.099-07:00Tingo Maria, Peru: April 25, 2006Tingo Maria might be the capital of cocaine and coca growing but a tourist can still walk down the street safely without being offered any suspicious white powder. However, there sure is a lot of counterfeit money floating around.
After staying in the lovely city of Huañuco for two days it was time to make our way, 6 hrs by car, to Tingo Maria by means of a collectivo (car full of people, boxesJoel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-40866933350747076482006-04-23T09:47:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:47:49.791-07:00Huanuco, Peru: April 23, 2006This morning Margot and I went for a walk around the mountain city of Huanuco, a nice city, not as busy or crowded as Lima, with markets and friendly people with smiling faces. This town of 100,000 seems small and relatively unaffected by the infrequent flow of tourists. We really feel like we are off the beaten path.
We ran into an American missionary woman from Colorado in a market today who Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-2158431183133649352006-04-22T09:47:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:47:18.518-07:00A Girl Named Margot: April 22, 2006Last night I spoke with an Australian girl who is staying with me at the same Hostel, and it turns out that she and I have a lot in common – same views on life, same ideas and questions about human existence etc., and we stayed up till two in the morning talking.
Margot is 32 years old, very-very talkative, and has traveled to Nepal, Tibet, New Zealand, China, Ecuador, and now she is visiting Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-62725004126960315782006-04-21T09:45:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:46:38.616-07:00Peru Begins: April 21, 2006LIMA: Busy, frantic, trash, short people, smog, polluted air, poverty, taxis, crazy driving, crazy buses, noise, jay walking, Spanish, unorganized, sickness, flowing, breathing, moving, chaos.
I have spent a few days combining other notes and putting them in order, and rewriting them in my black journal, so everything is organized together into one book; my little black book. I arrived in Peru Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-77151575863712665422006-04-04T09:44:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:45:31.806-07:00Selling Everything: April 4, 2006This weekend I had an Estate Sale and sold everything I owned. A few other things have been donated to a local thrift store. I sold my 95 Honda Civic. All that remains are a few clothes and the backpack and gear that I will be traveling with to Peru. I have been doing some research about the Amazon, Peru, and about what to bring in my backpack. I also decided to pack a few musical instruments Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-58398972804821898982006-01-27T09:43:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:44:22.350-07:00What Am I Looking For? January 27, 2006Just got back from a short walk in the cool Portland rain. The question came to me: why am I going to Peru – to the Amazon? Am I running away from something? What am I trying to find there? A few people I know seem to think I am running away from something.
I am looking for myself –My True-Self –True Nature. I am looking for who I am without my possessions, my car, worldly goods, etc. None of Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-72552559787914594232006-01-23T09:43:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:43:40.977-07:00LOVE, FEAR and Moving to Peru: January 23, 2006I just came back from a walk…it is very cold outside. I got to thinking about Love and Fear. What else is there? There is Love and there is Fear. Is everything that has been created by mankind from either Love or Fear...and nothing else? Life is so precious. Life is so precious. And yet we all spend so much time dying instead of living.
Every time, every moment I spend on fear, pain, or hate, Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-58340213999073026922006-01-15T09:41:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:42:11.694-07:00A Complex World: January 15, 2006Life seems to be passing by faster and faster. Not just because I am getting older, but because the world is becoming more and more complex. We are taking in more information in a day than ever before. We all keep pushing along as if there is no breaking point. I believe we are at that breaking point now.
How much stress, pressure, pain, and torment can the brain and body endure? Before there Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-82711857502081059402005-12-01T09:40:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:40:59.267-07:00Artistic Vision: December 1, 2005Woke up after a very vivid dream: I was in the middle of a large gallery or museum talking with an older man with grey hair (owner – curator?). We were looking at a few very large paintings on the floor that we were getting ready to hang in the gallery. There was a symbol on the canvas – that was the art. The price was $25,000 and people were looking at the painting to purchase it. The older man Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-80290835852046185972005-11-29T09:38:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:39:34.729-07:00Thoughts and Poems: November 29, 2005Poetry. The act of bringing others to the essence of our awareness. Precise words have more meaning than all others. With all of the knowledge mankind has, we should be living in a balanced and peaceful world. The opposite has happened. With all of the knowledge, we have become lost.
Sitting at Kalga Restaurant on Division Street in Portland OR. Green Curry w/ Brown Rice, ummm….Good! - Yes, weJoel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-7085826874879010072005-11-29T09:36:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:38:46.128-07:00Why Duality: November 29, 2005Why the Duality? Within every thing that can be observed there is duality: In-out, here-there, light and dark, on-off, male-female, right and left brain, and the in and out movements of the breath and heartbeat. At the center of my experience as a Human Being is awareness. I AM Aware of the duality. Without opposites, there is nothing that can be compared. The energy that is created through the Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-75540060772956959862005-11-19T09:35:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:36:34.074-07:00Living a Lie: November 19, 2005I am troubled by the greedy, unhappy, unthankful parts of my world. These are ways of living which create pain and suffering. This is how people live when they are disconnected from their awareness, their belief in their Self, their heart, and God. They exist as robots, following the path of least resistance…or, they seek power, wealth, and fame as a means to temporarily feel better.
Sometimes Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-28579668959688976222005-11-19T09:34:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:35:36.438-07:00Near Death Experience, USMC: November 19, 2005I can’t help but wonder and think about life. I guess this comes from my curious nature. Right now I am living alone in Portland, Oregon. But I am content. A few days ago I came to the realization that I now know what Dejavu is. I had a “near death experience” when I was in the Marines, 1999 sometime. I was pulled out of my body and this material reality, and I entered another world. It was Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-76395886220791456572005-11-03T09:28:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:34:40.738-07:00Devils Lake, Wisconsin: November 3, 2005It’s a cool morning - light fog hanging in the autumn stillness. I am sitting beside the fire pit at campsite #74 at Devil’s Lake in Wisconsin, waiting for Jason to get back from the store so we can cook something for breakfast. We ate some chocolate covered mushrooms last night and had a great spiritual experience. We came to the understanding that we have the ability to re-connect to our SourceJoel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-90601309417281113382005-11-03T09:27:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:28:53.006-07:00On My Way to Chicago: November 3, 2005Every day that passes and I am not working for some dead-end job, I have endless time to think and ponder. I find that all that I have is time. When I paint for 8 or 10 hours a day, I am with myself, and my thoughts. The end result of countless hours spent with myself is that I am moving further and further away from main-stream society. I am noticing more and more, that as I learn, seek, pray, Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-83936011390080397242005-11-03T09:22:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:27:16.643-07:00Follow up to Previous Journal: November 3, 2005Right now I am on my way to visit my friend, Jason Harris in Wisconsin (former Marine Corps roommate), flying in an airplane over Billings Montana at the moment, 33,000 feet above the earth. The previous info was written as part of a meditation about life. I have found that painting relaxes my body and mind, and it allows me to enter into a deeper state of being. I become aware of many things Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-46738509110609044502005-10-11T09:21:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:22:21.644-07:00My Desire in Life: October 11, 2005My desire in life is to question the reality that has been shoved down my throat. I believe our “true nature” exists behind the societal programmed impulses that we all live with. When I meditate, I am not trying to escape from reality. I am re-connecting with my inner source. I enjoy expanding my mind and my concept of reality, and as I spend time with my “inner-self,” I am getting to know Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-91493431676018047522005-09-30T09:20:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:20:59.709-07:00Sadness: September 30, 2005It’s Friday –two days before my girlfriend Anne moves to Arizona. She just sold her car today. Tears come from a place deep within my being. Humans are mammals- we are also animals. Animals cry when they experience pain. I cry when I experience pain. The pain is from the fear of being alone; from not being able to spend time with Anne. The pain also comes from the overwhelming reality that this Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-34262680276532990422005-08-07T09:17:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:20:10.587-07:00List of Desires: August 7, 2005I desire my creativity to flow freely.
I desire to find my creative rhythm.
I desire to find myself expressing my creativity for its own sake, not thinking about the result.
I desire to energize my body in the mornings so I can wake up early and begin the day with a walk.
I desire a constant awareness of my diet, the food I eat, and my health.
I desire to believe in myself and attract those who Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-33528319498173839342004-11-23T09:16:00.000-08:002010-04-05T09:31:27.157-07:00Time Travel: November 23, 2004From 2003 to 2005 I focused mainly on painting and didn’t journal very often. I was living with my girlfriend Anne, in Portland Oregon, doing a lot of landscape paintings, and selling artwork on eBay and in art galleries. I used painting as a way to meditate and think about life, not as a way to see how original and complex I could make my artwork. Painting in my little basement art studio gave Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-40768404984906532572003-10-03T09:15:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:16:35.458-07:00People Killing People: October 3, 2003They say guns don’t kill people, people kill people. I see it one step further: People don’t kill people, the lost child within people, kills people. We either make choices that benefit ourselves and humanity, or we make choices that have a negative impact on ourselves and humanity. With every one of our actions we are either moving forward with trust in our heart, or with fear in our mind.
Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-86703572467082739422003-09-07T09:14:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:15:31.110-07:00A Ringing In My Ear: September 7, 2003I sometimes hear a ringing in my ear. Why does it come, and then go just as quietly as it came? Sometimes at night, when everything is quiet, I can hear a ringing in my ear. The sound (which is a tone) gets louder and louder if I bring my attention to it. It is hard to fully describe what I am experiencing right now. I can feel this tone inside my head if I listen to it. It gets louder and louderJoel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-83974515541953842782003-09-05T09:12:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:12:51.406-07:00What Can I Do? September 5, 2003It seems as though every day this world is getting worse in terms of the things that I see on TV and hear on the news. How have I shaped this world? And what impact can I have on it? If anything is possible, then my desire is to live in a world of true freedom and peace.
It’s funny --It is as if I am in the middle of a disease (USA and Consumerism), and it looks like America is leading the Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1553140772509729200.post-42974852605918555682003-09-02T09:09:00.000-07:002010-04-05T09:11:15.784-07:00Journal Begins: September 2, 2003Portland, Oregon. The seasons are changing. Sitting in my basement studio apartment. I just finished working on my latest painting and lit a candle. I am meditating easily now that my active mind has been calmed. Meditating while painting opens up channels of clear thought, and creativity within my mind. I am able to see things in a different light; look at things from a different angle. I feel Joel Robert Harrishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07070561432179899246noreply@blogger.com0